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Showing posts with label stupid all star games. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stupid all star games. Show all posts

The Dunk Contest Happened.



Which is important, because it is the one time in the year that it is the funk - and only the funk - which is showcased. Nothing else matters.

The dunk contest can be a little bittersweet, since we will always be reminded of Jordan/Dominique in '88 or the entire 2000 field. Since 2000, few performances have even warranted remembering. Jason Richardson in 2003 and Gerald Green's cupcake dunk in 2008 are the only ones I really give two shits about. No, Dwight Howard and Nate Robinson do not make the list.

What I don't like about Dwight and Nate's performances is they were gimmicky bullshit. There wasn't creativity, it was mostly an Abbott and Costello routine. Sure, they're both athletic freaks, but just jumping as high as you can isn't any more entertaining than watching someone compete in the high jump. IT HAS NO FLAVOR.

Which brings me to the video above. Actually pretty entertaining stuff. There wasn't anybody who could do the things in the air like some of the previous champions, but there was still a great deal of creativity, mostly due to JaVale McGee doing shit that people never even thought of before.

Blake Griffin, for all of his power and athleticism, isn't necessarily an aerial acrobat. Not saying he didn't do some cool shit. The alley-oop Honey Dip was nasty. I also respect the full extension on windmills. However, we all knew this thing was scripted out from the beginning, and we knew that Blake Griffin was going to win, regardless of what happened.

I applaud JaVale for thinking out of the box, I would have liked to have seen Demar's next to dunks and Serge Ibaka is adorable. Blake, Hook Mitchell jumped over an entire VW bug one time, not just the hood. Just saying.

Furthermore, Lil' Wayne sat next to Schwarzenegger's kid and this picture was taken. Your argument is invalid.

Oh Roger you sly f--king fox


Many things have been said about heir Goodell, our ginger overlord, however this weekend he came through for the common man.

What am I talking about? The fucking Pro Bowl.

Observe:

I hate the NFL pro-bowl, I never watch it because it reminds me of of watching a porno after you just finished. It's awkward and depressing. (For our goodie two shoes/ readers who don't want to admit anything it's like singing Christmas carols on December 26th.) Think about it, THE LAST football game for 7-8 months is the Pro Bowl? Which has the intensity level of my 7th grade B team games.

But the NFL actually fired off some neurons and decided to have the game before the Superbowl. Great, grand, wonderful, trick of the day.

So this morning I search the TV and figure out when it's played.......7:20 EST WTF!?!?! YOU'RE TRYING TO GO UP AGAINST THE GRAMMIES, PUT IT ON AT 3!!!

But then I realized this is why I'm not the commissioner of the NFL.

Yes my fellow Hobbers, this is a perfect opportunity to score brownie points.

Drew of KSK fame has written extensively about this subject, but I want to share with you a great time to score some points.

Now WE all know the pro-bowl sucks but everyone else does not. So tonight is a perfect opportunity to score some points with the non-football fans.

I'm going to make some gross generalizations, but let's just assume most football fans are dudes and most non football fans are ladies. Here's how it goes down.

Football fan: Oh but I REALLY want to watch the pro bowl tonight.

Non FF: BUT the Grammies are on

FF: Ok FINE we can watch the award show (or any other random show for that matter)

NFF: Oh you are so considerate.

FF: Fuck. and. Yes.

And this is going to go down in thousands of households tonight, hell I'm going to rock it.

So thank you Roger Goodell for setting up the football watching community with a hanging curve.