BREAKING: Suits make terrible decisions

Great Moments in History with Gus Johnson from Gus Johnson

Well, Gus Johnson has officially left CBS sports. Which of course means we won't be seeing any more cold blooded calls during the NCAA tournament.

Who knows why they parted ways, but I have a sneaking suspicion that he didn't appeal to the "older demographic" To which I say SCREW OFF.

The article says he may become the NFL Thursday night guy, but here's to hoping he gets with ESPN and establishes himself as the premier CFB play by play guy and they team him up with Chris Spielman.

Here's a little taste of his football action.

(On a side note please listen to Fouts. Not only does he say Hall should have intercepted the ball, which is of course what every whistle toting coach will tell you is the exact OPPOSITE of what you want to do. But, he also praises Stokely for burning time off the clock and not scoring right away. Not unlike DeSean Jackson, and we all know how he was treated by the media)

But honestly, Imagine Gus in Death Valley, LSU vs. Alabama, surrounded by over 100,000 drunk Cajuns. Now that would be awesome.

Furthermore if you look at...


Brent: Hehehehe, ohhh yeah, Olllllllllllle Lattimer hear SPEAKING HIS MIND on CFB announcing.

But I tell you what Latty, You gotta wonder here if the Ollllllle cold blood killer, Gus, can really handle the prestige of College Football?

/Mute Button

What the hell, Teddy Bruschi?

So wait? The whole NFL thing came down because they were worried about players getting injured.

So I can understand the whole Steve Young/NFL Vs. Millen/Schlereth debate. Specifically, protecting players vs. "this is how the game is played." You know, that makes LOGICAL sense.

But then Teddy Bruschi comes on and I thought he was going to demonstrate a proper tackle Vs. what the NFL considered a malicious hit.

But then we enter Bizzaro world, and Teddy then instructs everyone on how to LEGALLY INJURE defenseless receivers. The proper way to do this is to turn your body sideways and launch yourself into the sternum of the opponent in hopes to "do some damage" to the sternum area.

So remember kids. The proper way to tackle is:

1. Turn your body completely sideways so you cannot see the opponent, that aspect is overrated.

2. Another benefit of this technique is that it exposes the SIDE of your neck which is much more vulnerable to injury and nerve damage.

3. DO NOT use your arms in any way other than keeping them as tight to your body as possible. This will make you more aerodynamic for the most important part of the move.

4. THE LAUNCH. Yes guesstimate (because your head is turned) where your opponents sternum will be do not worry if you bounce off the opponent because the main goal of "break down the door" tackling is to do damage in the sternum area, if you're lucky maybe you can snap a collar bone, perhaps a rib.

Shit, I think Rodney Harrison got uncomfortable watching that.

I do know one thing, Chris Spielman is appalled.

"Wrap up and drive your feet young man....See what you hit, hit what you see"

As you've probably guessed tOSU is also ready

You Know Spielman's ready

The Tasmanian Devil

Monday Morning S--t Storm!!!

So this weekend it seemed like everyone went batshit crazy over Gruden's draft performance.

1. Told you
2. Well yeah, he was a coach as oppose to you know, a BYU Douchebag who just says random shit for the fun of it. (No offense to BYU or the Mormon faith)
3. Why are you watching ESPN instead of NFL network with my main man Mike Mayock?

Anyway it got me thinking about the emphasis we place on the people who provide us with sports information.

So, for the Shit Storm we are going to create the best broadcasting team for each sport. We've hated on broadcasters for so long that it seems fair to give credit where it is due.

My team for football.

Gus Johnson as play by play. (Keith Jackson has his own category)
Chris Spielman on the color.
Erin Andrews on the sideline.

And


Wait for it........

Bill Belichick in the booth.

I would just love to hear him mutter. "cover 3 right here" at random points throughout the game. I also think his "yeah smash route" line following Gus Johnson's Touchdowngasm would add a nice balance.

Shit Storm begin.